The Feeling...

The feeling I get when you are around is euphoric.
From the smallest look in your eyes, to the excitement in your voice,
it sends me to a place I haven't felt in a long time.
The feel of your kiss, the look on your face, the smile that tells me just how much you care.
It feels right, it feels natural... no pretending, no lies...
I love that you are a man's man. That you don't hold anything back, and that you are passionate in your beliefs and wants.
I love that you open my door!!! That you ask me what I want or need.
I love that you trusted our relationship enough to introduce me to your girls.
I love that you want to include me in the things that are important in your life.
I love that you have helped me to find the passion that was missing in my life!
I love that you are supportive in the things that I want to do.
I just love you!

stress...

They say that money is the root of all evil, I think it is root of all stress!
Where once I had enough to get what I wanted, now I barely have enough to pay the bills!
I feel like a failure as a parent because I can't get my son what he wants or even what he needs! I used to enjoy being able to buy things for people or lend them money when they most needed it. I always figured that what comes around goes around. Now I am hoping that I win the lottery and not have to worry.
I wish I had enough money to just get my son a used car and afford the insurance, I wish I had enough to get my roof redone on my house, I wish I had enough money to get new tires for my car, I wish I had enough money to get my son his senior ring, I wish I had enough money to pay off some of my bills!
The stress of not having enough money would and has driven some people to the extreme! I just wonder, why???
I have actually gotten to the point of telling the man of my dreams that we might need to take a break for a while, so that I can look for a third job! Why do we work so hard for so little??? Why do we put relationships on hold, and force our kids to work for our short comings??? I don't want my son to work just yet... he will be working for the rest of his life, he will have to deal with this stress someday... just not now.
I am still optimistic in that all things work out the way they are supposed to, but it still sucks in the mean time!!!

Exciting new year?

So far so good, have I jinxed myself??
I feel like this year will be the one to remember!
If I can hold on.
I am super excited about the students I have! They have so far shown me that they can actually think for themselves! WOW!
They have background knowledge of the events that we are going to study!
I feel like I have won the lottery!

I am starting this year with so many positives...
The bubble has to burst at some point or is it supposed to be like this?

Not knowing...

Why is it when people are scared they argue?
Why do people fight with one another?
Honesty seems to take a back seat to emotion, why?
To me the innocence of a relationship gets lost when you have an argument.
Are arguments meant to show you just how you feel about someone? Does it show you that you really do care deeply for that person, or maybe you don't care at all?
What do you say when it's over? Do you forgive and forget? Do you learn from it? Does it show you the true emotion of someone?
A brick wall is very easy to build but extremely hard to tear down.
Why?

Six days and counting...

Six days and counting before the summer officially ends!
I am looking forward to it and then I am not. This summer has been very interesting and I will be sad to see it come to an end.
I feel that I have accomplished a lot but then again, I feel like I haven't done much of anything.
I am afraid of things changing too much and there will be little time for the things that have developed. I am afraid of falling into the same 'ol routine and only having one day, Saturday, to do anything fun.
The school year hasn't even started and I am already looking forward to the first holiday... Thanksgiving!
I hope this year goes by as fast as the summer has!
Just get ready for me to rant and rave about the kids, other teachers, and of course the administration!
Good luck to those in the educational field, may the force be with you!

Walls....

The trick is to be true to one's own self and keep the faith that the person who finally showed up is supposed to be in your life for that moment and hopefully for more moments to come. If we live in our past experiences too deeply, we might miss the moment that was intended to place us in the clouds. If we become so cynical and not believe ourselves the chance to be loved, then we doom ourselves to eternal misery.
After reading Wonko's post again, I have to comment on this paragraph. I wish I could have thought of it.
I believe that a lot of my failures in past relationships has come from living too much in the past. I think that no matter what anyone says, relationships take a little piece of your soul, every time they don't work out. This is why in a lot of songs artist will refer to "building a wall around my heart". I think we are all guilty of it. I probably built the biggest wall! Too afraid of feeling that pain again...
I became afraid to let someone in! I was subconsciously "dooming myself to eternal misery"! Even with my last relationship (the one that moved in unexpectedly ), I never fully allowed him in, thank God! That turned out to be a total nightmare! But I'll never forget my mother telling me that that relationship was the key that unlocked the door to the possibility of allowing myself a real relationship.
The man in my life now... makes me walk in the clouds! For the first time I am not afraid! Not afraid to hope, wish, dream... that everyday I feel like I did the day I met him.
I want to love him more tomorrow than I did today!

The dreams have started...

I know I am not the only teacher that has "nightmares" before the start of the school year. Why after teaching so many years do I still get anxious? Are these unresolved issues from the previous year? Are they left over frustrations from the previous years kiddo's? Or is it that I am working out issues with the adults that I teach with, maybe the dreams have nothing at all to do with the kiddo's. Maybe it's the anxiety of having to deal with the same dumb ass people again!
You know education really does not have to be this difficult. Why does everyone feel they have the answer to our educational "problem"? There really is no problem, if politicians and school boards just allow the teachers to do their damn jobs!
If a student doesn't want to go to school, great... go out and get a damn job. Don't allow them to get on welfare until they have at least contributed to taxes that pay for welfare or they actually get their education.
Students don't want to behave... kick them out!!! If they would rather disturb and distract other students who do value their education, then get the flip out and GO TO WORK!!!! Sooner or later these same students are going to be sitting in a GED class wishing they had taken advantage of their education when they had a chance! I really find it hard to feel sorry for these kids, when there are kids in third world countries selling themselves for money, just to be able to pay for their education!
I think we should implement the "three strikes your out" rule for students... you screw up three times and your outta here!!!
OOOOOOOkkkaayyyyy... off my soap box for now, to be continued I'm sure... when school is in full swing!