Back Seat...

I am tired of being in the back seat...
I need to stop putting my life on hold and live...
Come what may...
I need to get back to me before it's too late...

My son never ceases to amaze me...

Today I read a letter to my son that I had written when he was born.
I had forgotten all about it until my mother reminded me that she had it.
So today I read it to him, we both almost started crying. It was my raw emotion after his birth.
My son had serious health issues when he was born and I basically wrote a day by day diary of his first couple of weeks.
He just sat there as I read it to him, because he couldn't read my handwriting, and I think he was pretty amazed as to what all had happened. The emotions that his father and I had those days were right there. He doesn't have a relationship with his father, but I think it makes him feel better knowing that his father actually cared, once.
After I got finished reading it to him, he kept hugging me all day and telling me how wonderful of a mother I was.... just melted my heart! How did I get so lucky??
I am absolutely amazed at the man he is turning out to be... he is so smart about things that i have no clue about. He wants to be a physicist, couldn't even spell it, thank god for spell check! I just get caught up in the things he tells me about science and the things he wants to do... Watch out world, he will be winning a Nobel Peace prize for science!!!
I am so honored and humbled to be able to call him my son!!

Wishing...

and waiting...
why is it so hard to be away from someone?
I find myself thinking about you all the time. I wonder what you are doing, what you are thinking, and if I ever cross your mind.
Time goes by so slowly... it feels as if I will never see you again.
I wonder what you will you think when you do come back. Will you still feel the same way or will you want something else.
I often wish I had spent more time with you.
I wish I were younger, so I can give you what you so desperately want.
I wish I could give you all your dreams and wishes...
Wish I would have known about your feelings sooner...
I wish I could feel your lips on mine...
feel your arms around me and hear your voice in my ear...
Look into your eyes and just get lost in them...
dance one more dance...
drink one more pitcher...
I want to show you so much about me and my life...
what I am all about, what I like to do, who my friends are...
you just saw a little bit of it...
I want so much for you to be a part of my everyday...

Exile kiss you all over with lyrics

Unbelievable-Josh Gracin

Is this how you feel??

Pink Floyd-Wish You Were Here

Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

Deep Breath

Wow... i really need to take a step back and breathe!!
Reread my posts... amazing what a kiss can get you into!
Think I need to step back and take a nice long look at what happened over Christmas break.
No regrets... simply amazing! But I need to breathe!!
Life goes on and if it's in the cards to happen, it will happen.

I Want to know what love is - Foreigner

I want to know what it is like to be in someone's every thought.
I want to know what it is like to be someone's first thought when they wake up and last thought before they go to bed.
I want to know what it is like to be that person's first priority.
What does it feel like to have someone think of you before themselves?
I want to know what unconditional feels like...
I want to know what it is like to be forgiven and still loved.
I want to know what it is like to wake up next to someone everyday.
I want to know what it is like to look at someone like you're looking at them for the very first time.
I want to know what love is.... true love!

Bricks....

How do you know when to say the things that need to be said, without feeling like you are putting your heart out there to be hurt again.
Too many emotions today...
Waiting patiently for you to come back.... I hope that the separation only makes our feelings for each other stronger!